Three Noobs of RuneScape 2
by Zyraven
Summary: Sequel to Three Noobs of RuneScape. Four siblings in the clan Saints of Elkion must fight the propoganda and noobyness of humans, dark secrets, and their own low IQ.
1. Prolouge: Ungnarliness

...Three Noobs of RuneScape 2...

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Author's Note: Woot! I got some fans for this, so, here's a sequel. I am also once again a member in RuneScape (The name is Lord Sykasa) I can put more detail, and of course, I have a plot! This MAY not be any better than the first, maybe worse, but hey, something for me to do and people liked the first one! And of course, disclaimer...I don't own RuneScape, but since Andrew was really Tom Hanks or someone I may! Mhuahahahhahaaaa

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Chuck Norris (Zaros) had been destroyed, and the clans Saints of Chaos and Knights of Elkion (It was the S.O.C the last chapter but I learned upon reading the first one it was really Knights of Elkion. Stupid story!) had had peace for many weeks.

The leader of Knights of Elkion had grown tired of the game, and turned over leadership to Crystal, a blue haired girl. She had the sub-conscious of Sarodromin, one of the gods of RuneScape, and ruled well. She had three brothers, the irritating and stupid main characters of this one and the first one. She used twin blades.

There was Sykasa, who had long black hair, newly appointed Head of Knights in the clan his leaders Aphelion and Swordpker11. He had the subconscious of Guthix, another god, and though, like the other brothers, he was stupid, he could be serious when he wanted to. He also used twin blades, a rune long sword and a dragon long sword.

Next, there was Jikia, with shaggy blonde hair, head assassin of the Saints of Chaos. He had to be the stupidest of them all, and he had the subconscious of a god that Andrew made up when he was drunk. The name of this god turned out to be 'Kathy Lee Gifford'. He used a Magic Longbow and had full black dragon hide. He is known to be a pervert.

Last of them was Zyron, a brown spiky haired mage. He is the leader of the mages and Apprentice Strategist to Cobalt Raine, head strategist of the clan. He is also immature like the others, but is the most normal. He was made as Zamorak.

These four siblings were not like the other player. Made by magic coding, they were almost human and could do anything a human could do. The clans were close, and they decided to merge as Saints of Elkion. For nearly four months (which is a long time for the four main characters when you live in the game) the merged clan went smoothly, led by Crystal and Aphelion.

As you could guess, it was inevitable that the leaders could rule in peace together, and one day they got in a quarrel. Aphelion had become greedy, and trusted the tree idiotic brothers to be his most trusted friends.

And in the fight, in which Crystal threatened to mess his code up and kill him, Aphelion and the brothers uttered this discussion:

"You up, all three of you, for another assassin job?"

"Sure. Who?"

"You promise, as my highest members next to sword and cobalt you will do this?"

"Yeah, I guess."

"I want your sister, Crystal, dead."


	2. Chapter 1: Untitled

Chapter 1: The Chapter That I Am Too Lazy To Name

**Disclaimer: I don't own RuneScape. I am a noob in RuneScape. **

"Dude!"

"Kill her!"

"Dude!"

"Kill her!"

"Dude!"

This continued for a while against Aphelion, trying to buy some time, and trying to irritate him because that's what they did.

Sykasa, Jikia, Zyron, and Crystal were made as the ultimate Hack-Destroying creation, but when Andrew lost a bet to Chuck Norris and Tom Cruise, Chuck took away their powers. In a glitch from that happening, they could use PMs, and receive PMs, but not send each other PMs.

"I am your leader," began Aphelion, "and you are my assassins, and I want her dead."

Zyron tried to get Jikia to PM someone to PM her. Why they wanted Jikia to, who the hell knows?

"OK," Sykasa told him, "one, she's the only other family we have, two, she's real, she will not come back when she is dead, three, she has the conscious of Sarodromin, so who knows what will happen to the game if we kill her!"

He thought. _What's going on with Aphelion? He never was greedy, or too ambitious. _

"I know that, and I don't care." Sykasa began to think how much of a geek Aphelion must be behind the computer screen.

"You're stupid," Sykasa finally said.

Aphelion laughed to himself in real life. "That's funny, coming from you. Why do you say that?"

Jikia had gotten a hold on Swordpker11, explained the situation, and he said he would tell her. It was Zyron's turn to speak. In numbers, again.

"One, your stupid because what makes you think we'd do that? Two, your stupid because we can kill you right now, and, three, why the hell are we talking about this in the middle of Varrock, west bank, world two? Even if we have chat set to private, dude, they can hear us."

Aphelion looked around. He knew spies were going to be after him now. The three brothers were well known for a few years back when they went strip running like monkeys. He was the leader; he would be a target...

He logged off.

"That son of a...dudes," said Jikia, "let's go in the real world again and find him." The other two shook their heads no. "Remember last time?"

"I remember I killed Zaros," said Zyron.

"Chuck Norris."

"Same difference."

They went to a less populated place in their own world, World 77, and thought about important details.

_We are practically human. We can log off, but know nothing about the real world, and don't want to. We have three siblings each and no parents. Or do we? I want my mommy...wait, do I have a mommy! I'm sad now..._

As you could guess, those were Jikia's thoughts. Let's go to Sykasa's and Zyron's...

_We are practically human. We can log off, but don't want to. If Crystal or us die, we won't come back. On the other hand, we can kill people whenever, wherever. We can even damage their code if they bug us too much. We are the gods of RuneScape, in a way, but we don't have the power to change anything at times like this. God, I'm not sure yet, but I think this sucks..._

Meanwhile, about ten minutes ago...

"Hey, Crystal!" said Swordpker11 through a PM.

"Hey. Yeah?" she sent back.

"I was talking to Jikia, he just told me something. They're planning to kill you, I'd watch your back..."

**Author's note: CLIFFA! Any ideas are welcome...and keep flames to a minimum...but they are allowed...**


	3. Chapter 2: This is Bad, Right?

Author's Note: Whoa. I'm back. A review from my only two/three reviewers (thank you!) reminded me I exist in and to see if anyone still reads this, I'm putting up this chapter. If no one reads anymore, there's really no point to continue this. This one is extra long. Well, longer than I usually do it, which is about as long as a page in the Cat in the Hat.

Disclaimer: I do not own RuneScape. And I stole the title of this chapter from Bob and George, the best Sprite Comic ever.

……………………**Chapter 2: This is Bad, Right?**…………………

Crystal immediately PMed back. "They what!"

Swordpker11 sighed to himself outside the game. "They are going to kill you. They think you are at Varrock Square."

"…I am."

"I'd run."

"No. I'm going to wait for them, and strike first."

MEANWHILE

Sykasa stood with his brothers Jikia and Zyron in the crowd of RuneScape, World 2, Varrock bank.

"Let's go to world 77, Varrock Square, and tell Crystal that's not true!" Jikia announced.

They did not ever think, so they agreed and left.

Idiots.

Anyways, they are there now.

They ran to the square.

"Where is she? Cobalt Raine said she was here…" Zyron shook his head. "Where is she?"

"I don't know," said Jikia as he ate some moldy bread and 'cottage cheese' from a milk carton he stole from Andrew in the last story, "but this tastes good."

"How the hell is that relevant to this story?"

"The author said it was," said Jikia as he took another bite from the bread, "so ha!"

Shut up! No I didn't! "Yes you did," Jikia yelled at me. No I didn't! "Yeah you did!"

I made it so he grew breasts and decided to stop interfering with the story.

Sykasa ignored our bickering. "So, where is she?" He adjusted his sword to a more comfortable position. To Crystal, who was watching nearby with a bow ready, it looked like he was getting ready for a fight, which she expected. She took an arrow she had set beside here, and fired towards her brother.

Sykasa moved out of the way to slap a noob that was bugging him, and the arrow missed, piercing a noob's head. As the noob died, he let out a blood-curdling cry. "d00d i report u now!"

The three brothers immediately looked to where Crystal was, hiding behind the Varrock castle gates.

It was silent, besides Jikia, of course, who yelled "WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT!"

Crystal walked towards them casually. "What was what?" She smiled, but to herself, she frowned.

"I thought we made an agreement NOT to kill people for no reason, besides in the wilderness!"

"Oh, I wasn't aiming for him." She shot her hand forward grabbing Jikia's unprotected arm, and twisted it as hard as she could. Jikia yelped in pain, and had no time to react as she grabbed her sword as quick as lighting and hit him onto the ground with the hilt.

She payed no attention to Jikia's moaning as he turned to the other two, with open jaws.

Sykasa immediately drew his Dragon Long sword (wussy to go into Barrows actually, because I don't know enough about the Barrows) and got into a fighting stance. "What the hell is wrong with you!"

"Why do you want to kill me! What did I do to you!" She threw down the bow to get a better grip on her own Dragon long sword.

"What…! We were coming here to tell you! Why would we want to kill you!"

Sykasa, however, was a little too hesitant to attack her and screamed in pain as her sword pierced his Dragon chain mail. Before he lost conscious, the last thing he heard was Jikia weakly saying, "Ha ha…you…you lost to a girl…wuss"

Zyron was the last one standing. "Sorry, sis…" He charged up a Fire Bolt, not willing to kill her, and shot it. She jumped out of the way, and the bolt hit the statue of the fountain, turning it into coding for a second or two before changing back. She threw a rune throwing knife at Zyron, who teleported just in time, and it flew into the head of the same noob who had come back to see if his stuff was still there. "d00d wdf d00d wdf!111one11!"

Jikia looked at his moldy bread. "I think I know what this was used for." He tapped it. It was hard in two ways. One, it was moldy. Two, it was hard for him to part with it.

"Bon apetie, bitch!"

Jikia yelled loudly and threw it at Crystal with all his might.

It missed.

She looked at him, annoyed, and started to walk towards him, as someone walked behind her and knocked her out with a blow to the head with a staff. It was Zyron.

Jikia thanked him. "I thought you teleported?"

Zyron nodded. "I only had runes to teleport to Varrock."

"Ha ha. Noob."

If I Get Reviews, To Be Continued… 

Note: I do own a clan in RuneScape. My name on the game is Lord Sykasa. I'm only giving it out because my Bank PIN and Recovery Questions are finally set, and I have all my gold in bank at all times. Be warned; I am a noob (LVL 75)! Also, I don't know about you, but I personally like the line 'Bon apetie, bitch', though I know I spelled a word or two wrong there.


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